pondělí 6. srpna 2007

Where's the Funk?

If one was to ask me what do I live for, my answer would definitely be "I live for the Funk". Many people have already said that. Funktopus, Bootsy and Catfish, Holer and Sly and his Stoned family. James Brown has already died for Funk. This is a whole array of people who influenced music and through music millions of individuals. Everybody knows the word "Funky". However meaning of this word got lost in the groove, that transformed from something inner-soul-outer-world to a pre-fabricated riffs that literally POP after some weeks of MTV spin. I am not anti-commercialist. God bless money... but I have love for my Funk and I am asking where is it now? Funk is an Energy a Power an Inspiration a Booty-Shaker. If Funk is to disappear, in Order with some physical laws, energy should be transformed into different energy and in Order of the law of Evolution into something better. There are many different things, that are no-way better than Funk. That means that Funk is Alive! Ok, but, where the hell is it? Funk is an energy and I need that NRG. To start finding funk around you, we would need some definition of it. This is very hard to do. So, let's come back to the original meaning.. Funk is something that smells. Smells like sex. meaning the actual scents our body produces during sex. That's cool isn't it. Funk has found its way into music by putting the stank into the rhythm. Rhythm into the dancer and dancer back to sex at some point of the night. By now Funk is music that makes it so hot that you just can't resist lovin' it. Grooves that go deep into your heart and brass that lifts you hiiiiiiigher. Deep and Tall, Get Up For the Down Stroke, Go Down and High. Funk is Vertical! A broadband form of energy. Take one step further. You can't only hear Funk, you can sense it in variety of ways, you can taste it, feel it, see it and of course you can smell it! Anything that can be sensed can be funky. The creator of the thing has to be Funky himself (Irresistible in vertical way). Everything Funkateers do is Funky. It comes back to their philosophy. Everything Funky is Cool and is cool for everybody. Funk is broadband. Here comes the problem. You like it! You don't know why exactly you like and for most part you don't understand it all. Then if you transmit your funk inspired You, you only share parts of Funk you understood. The complete picture is rarely put together again and so, Funkinformation is getting lost in this world of misunderstanding and other flaws. Only Funkateer can understand the whole spectrum of the Funk and only he can transmit it back as the whole. If you're looking for Funk, look for Funkateers, exchange the pieces you are missing, make something double funky that reaches others and so on. You have to Build Funk. Just don't forget the stank... To be continued..

neděle 5. srpna 2007

Tronically Tested...

Hi and Welcome to the first part of Tronically Tested!

Before I introduce myself, I'd like to start fresh with some basic questions. Most of the people will ask these themselves someday in their lives. Usually it is too late though. Am I Funky? How does Funk taste, smell and feel? Who is my favorite trombone player? How do I know that my Tron is big enough to get me through all the shit that's happening outside? These are only few, we will try to ask more questions and find more answers during our Tronical Life. I am a lame blogger and you are about to witness some of my crazy visions. Reason I am doing this? My Jetlag lasts already one week. I try to sleep, I try to read boring books, I think about serious stuff, I go funny another second, I play sad and I regret not doing many things in that awfully long day. I dream about flipping my life over in that very moment! There's only one thing stopping me. I am laying in my bed, trying to fall asleep. Tired as hell not able to rest. Living the life of a tronned. Life of an individual living for something more, what yet he has to see. He likes to get philosophical (he says philotronical) and found out that he can never be the smartest. However he believes to be able to enrich the others, making them understand issues he couldn't. Give THEM answers to HIS questions. Doesn't work the opposite way. He likes to dispersonate himself. (Oh no - this is not a schizofrenia, no worries). This is just a way to form a dialogue, when tehre is no one to talk to, no one to be able to understand. There is so much bullshit already on the Internet - one more won't hurt. Let's dispersonate myself into the internet. Let's talk to the Internet and let the other Funkateers talk to me. There are many of us, all working for the good of Wu-Tang Clan..-.-.-.... Let me find myself on this spot first, then tell me I am Crazy - find out it is a compliment, then call me a liar. Discover yourselves tronned out in this world and come back.. Come back to the only only place on the web that's Tronically Tested